To Break an Angel II: Cry another Lie
by LittleBloodyJ
Summary: The death of Castiel was a tragedy. With his return war is near and everyone chooses their sides- in the very middle of the battle one man can stop it. Will Dean choose to kill Castiel or risk humanity to the thing Castiel has become?
1. The Start

**Summary:** The death of Castiel was a tragedy. With his return war is near and everyone chooses their sides- in the very middle of the battle one man can stop it. Will Dean choose to kill Castiel or risk humanity to the thing Castiel has become?

**Warnings**: Gore, slash, torture, language, implied sex, implied (past) rape, blood-play... LOTS of death. :D

**Pairings:** Dean/Castiel, Gabriel/Sam, Ruby/Sam.

**Disclaimer: **You should be glad I don't. X

**A/N: H**ey guys! This is the sequel to _'To Break an Angel' _and I have to say, this is the FIRST sequel I have ever written! *squeal* Dedicated to the lovely(ish) **1909Katerina** who forced me to write.  
I hope this does not dissapoint, remember it is only an opening. :)  
Please review at the end or I won't know if I should continue!

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_This is the way __you left me,  
I'm not pretending.  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
No Happy Ending.  
This is the way that we love,  
Like it's forever.  
Then live the rest of our life,  
But not together._

_Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life  
Can't get no love without sacrifice  
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well  
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell_

_This is the hardest story that I've ever told  
No hope, or love, or glory  
Happy endings gone forever more  
_**  
Mika – **Happy Ending

* * *

There are stories (legends) that have been passed down through generations – never written; only told in the ear of children from the lips of the adults. These stories started in the times of the ancients when wendigos and werewolves were common belief and the gods were worshipped. The stories began when a small girl, with hair the colour of blood, stumbled into a little village, the snow behind her tainted by the blood she was covered in. The girl had stumbled for miles and those who saw her put her at the tender age of six- the blood on her was a mix of her own and blood of a creature which had lived in the dark woods around the village.

The girl was small for her age, yet her light blue eyes were as cunning as the eyes of the oldest man who lived upon the Earth. Her clothes were torn and her nails long yet her smile was a twisted and cruel thing which caused all those who truly saw it to back away. She did not speak a single word as the adults rushed forwards to pull her away from the snow (the first heavy snow in one hundred years) and the children and animals who saw her hid in the shadows, hiding from her gaze and trying not to look at her. The adults scolded them for being cold to the poor child who they presumed was an orphan from the plague- but the children could see it. The children were the only ones who saw how her eyes would shift from different shades of blue as her mood changed. The children were the only ones who saw how when she looked at the adults her eyes were like the summer sky yet when she looked at the dogs they would shift to a midnight blue. When she was mad her eyes would almost seem black.

Of course, when the children tried to tell the adults they were yelled at and punished for trying to get the newest member of their clan into trouble with such evil lies. The adults seemed not to be able to see how when she walked animals would run and everything would seem to darken. The adults only seemed to see how her sweet and skinny appearance was too fragile looking to hurt anyone. Nobody could see it and as the village's leader carried her to the Wise Woman, the girl smiled at the children over his shoulder, her eyes glittering with the very darkness of the night.

The girl was named Alba by the clan and she was adopted by the leader, a kind man named Owen whose wife disappeared during the plague. When she arrived a new dawn swallowed those who lived upon the soil of the north. The Wise Woman was the only adult who saw the darkness beneath.

It was six months before the disappearances started- Owen was the first who entered the forest and never returned. Slowly, the male adults started to disappear.

From this moment – the moment the last man walked into the night forest with a single, bare flame to guide him – the legend comes.

The legend of the day of reckoning, when death will rise up from the Earth and swallow the land as the people upon the Earth will be swallowed by the pure flames from Hell.

The legend of the day demons will be led to victory by the new Devil and the sky will be lit by angels falling to join the demons and the new Devil shall stand on the dust and the bodies.

The legend tells of a day where the line between good and evil will be gone and the battle will simply be one side against all others. It tells of one, tainted human who will hold the destiny of all of creation in his hands as he will have to choose if to kill the new Devil or risk humanity to what the Devil will (has) become.

The tale which was born that very night as the youngest angel flew across the sky. The tale was the one which tells of the end of the world as we know it and the rise of Heaven's youngest angel as the creature we will all fear and hide from.

The story is about two men were bound by love yet split by hate.

The vow by the human which was above than fate.

A vow stronger than blood.

Above God.

Above torture and sacrifice.

Above life and death.

This tale was one which was only told once – but those who heard it remembered every word for the rest of their short lives.

This tale is what I am going to tell you; the tale of the youngest angel who never had a choice in his play in the story Alba told.

The night the girl with fire in her hair first spoke was the night the black shadows swallowed the village. The night she told the same tale I will tell you she said that one day when darkness and light's child was born the world's fate would be written and only one choice by one man would be able to save it.

She said the man who had been, in his past and in her future, a seal would be the key. She told about the choice between killing the only person his heart will ever love and risking humanity to the creature created by its own blood. The child named Alba told of how God would return for the final battle and it would be the end.

That night the shadows swallowed the village and in the morning one little boy remained to pass on the tale- all that was seen was a flash of red from the forest before the girl disappeared, her soul floating in the wind. It wasn't her time to be born yet and when the time was to come the tale would begin.

We all knew it was a matter of time and the small boy crawled to the next village.

When asked what his name was he answered with his surname. He told them he was called '_Campbell_'.

_**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**_

There are many legends about Angels who fell. Stories made to haunt you with their cunning words about how pure and untainted good, God's first children, became demons with eyes as black as night. Stories about these angels who detest humans and only wish for them to be dead- they wish to destroy everything (everyone) that their father preferred over them. These angels fell from the heavens in bright flames, their own light fading as their grace which was made of pure love slowly became black- made of cruelty and hate. They stopped being angels like their father intended and became something new. Lucifer, the bringer of light, fell faster than all others but his grace never completely changed (or at least, not till much later on) because of his reasons why he had rebelled against his Father. The reason why he had fallen down into his cage was because he had cared... no, because he had _loved_ his Father too much and had refused to bow down to the humans that replaced the angels as God's favourite. The small vermin that was ready to destroy itself from within. Lucifer truly hated humans but he never hated his brothers, even Michael who he knew he would have to kill. He never hated any of his family but he had still been ready to kill any of them that tried to stand in his way. And Lucifer had done just that, and that was when the last of his grace turned oily black.

There are few stories of angels that have died. Few angels have been known to die but those few are liked closely to everything that has and will happen. Zachariah is (was) one of the angels; he was nearly killed by his own brother when a man called Dean requested so, pretending that if Michael would do so he would willingly be his vessel- but the human killed him in the end. Anna, an angel who had once ripped out her own grace to be human, was another angel who died in the warm-up to the battle. She was killed by Michael. There was an angel called Uriel who also hated humans and he tried to get angels in his garrison to join his and Lucifer's side. If they did not he killed them (he killed seven). Anna was the one who killed him when he tried to kill yet another angel. The others that died are nameless on this paper, only one other held a part in the final door to the end of the world arriving. The final angel that died was also the youngest, the baby of all angels with his wide blue eyes and his child-like curiosity. The final angel who died was killed because he _loved_ humans to the point he allowed himself to be killed. He died at the hands of his big brother Lucifer and even with his final breath he did not hate. Instead, he was the last angel that stayed as God intended. He was the final angel who allowed himself to be killed without trying to stop it. He was the first angel to fall to his knees and question his Father's word without breaking it.

There are no stories told of an angel going to Hell without falling. There may not be any told but there is **one**. The story is not known by many humans, only two brothers cursed with the knowledge of what truly happened to the angel with baby blue eyes. This is where our story begins, with a man sitting in his Impala, his face buried in his hands as he tried not to look at the seat behind him, the long gone blood still trying to catch his eyes. For the man we start with it has been two years since the first and last angel was dragged to Hell for the second time. It was for _him_ that the angel allowed himself to be dragged to Hell and it was _him _the angel loved. Two years before the moment he sits in an angel who was called 'Castiel' felt the cold metal of Lucifer's sword break his flesh and dig deep into him. It had been two years since the last angel to be created fell to the ground like a ragdoll and it had been two years since this man's heart broke, never truly healed.

Dean Winchester sat in his car, his eyes tightly shut. It had been one year and eleven months since he had last seen his little brother Samuel. It had been one year, ten months and four weeks since he had slammed the phone out of the car window, leaving his brother without a clue of where he had gone. Nobody heard from him since that day when the phone smashed on the ground and the wheel of his car crushed it before he kept on going.

The one story of the angel Castiel is based around that one man who sat in his car, lines under his eyes from not sleeping properly because of the nightmares that haunted him every single night. He would dream of the smell of the blood and the sound of the weapon breaking the angel's flesh. He would dream of his watch striking midnight just as Lucifer pressed the silver sword just deep enough for the silver light to leave Castiel's wide eyes and his bloody lips. He would dream of the body hitting the floor and his eyes remaining open. He would dream of his final words that were gently whispered into his ear before the angel embraced his death and his return to Hell. All of it to protect Dean's soul from ever having to return to Hell. The angel Castiel returned to Hell for the second time so that he could protect those he loved- he had cared so much he was ready to die. He had been prepared to die for them and he had. His golden soul was returned to Hell and as his head hung low and his wings lay still- but unlike his first stay in Hell he had no hope of being saved. He had no hope left and he bit his lip and refused to scream once again, focusing on the last thread of hope. His last hope was that the man he was there for, Dean, would be okay. He knew it was a false illusion but it was all he had- the moment he gave that up he let his old self go.

When the angel did allow himself to change it was the second time he allowed a tear to roll down his bloody cheeks. After that moment his face became a void of emotion and when he rarely spoke even the Devil took a small step back. The coldness that would once have clashed with the kind, bright Castiel seemed to ooze hatred and amusement as he'd spit out a mouthful of irony blood. When his eyes looked up their shade of baby blue seemed to be getting darker every time he blinked. When he smiled Lucifer froze. The smile twisted cruelly on his little brother's face as he tilted his head to the side.  
"Lucifer." He said the name coldly as the smile covered his face again as he chuckled, "Nothing say to me my dear _brother_?"

Over time, like any creature, he changed.

The torture never stopped but the pain no longer counted as pain and each cut felt like comfort because it was all he knew- every memory he held was tainted by the blood and pain that he was living in. The blood and pain was all he knew and it was a large part of him.

It took nearly six hundred years for a reaction and that was a mouthful of ruby blood spat at Lucifer before he closed his blue eyes. They seemed to have gotten a shade darker.

It took one thousand years for him to forget why he forced himself not to scream.

It took one thousand five hundred years for it all to become a game to the once angel.

By the time everything became a game the torture had become part of who he was and his name was useless to him. He knew it, in the back of his mind, yet he did not care. He had forgotten the name of the reason he was in Hell and he no longer cared about the man. He cared for nobody and nothing apart from himself.

He hung with a danger about him- a smirk painted on his lips and as the demons picked up their equipment they knew. By cutting, tearing, burning or whatever game they were playing, they were signing their own death sentences. The moment the angel set eyes on them they were as good as dead.

Lucifer hated the sight of what his baby brother had become and as he took in the black wings and the darkness he knew. Lucifer knew he had gotten what he wanted. Castiel would never be the same yet he could not help but wonder why he did not feel happy. The sight of the new creature he had created only made him want to shed tears.

The angel hung with none of the kindness, love, fear or innocence he had hung with before. Instead, the angel hung with a mix of hate and challenge. He was challenging the demons to hurt him because he could no longer be hurt. Over time he had grown to love the pain for it made him feel alive and the pure rage inside of him replaced who he had been.

The angel Castiel, the youngest of all the angels, had become a new kind of monster and Lucifer hated what he had done.

There was nothing left of the old Castiel in the shell made of bitterness and broken promises apart from the odd moment when his blue eyes would look sad, for less than half a second, and the image of a car next to a lake filled his mind. He could no longer remember whose car it was or why the memory was so important but as he remembered that image he remembered the face of a human. It was a face he had stopped feeling emotion for just over one hundred years earlier. It was the face of the man he had gone to hell for.

It was the face of Dean Winchester, the man who had broken his promise.

Castiel did not remember much from before the pain but he remembered the human (he felt like spitting whenever he thought the word) promising he would not let anything happen to him.

_Ha_. Well that had to be the most broken promise in the history of promises.

After nearly two thousand years in Hell, nothing had not happened to him.

When the knives broke his skin and the blood would pour he would smirk at the demon cutting him and he knew his message was shown on his bloody smile. He rarely spoke but there was no need. They all knew he was telling them the moment he got away from the chains they would pay.

No matter how deep they cut he would still smile at them because the moment he got free they would truly be in a worse kind of Hell.

It was only a matter of time.

(It took two thousand years for him to forget how to feel anything but hate.)  
(It took one thousand nine hundred years for him to fully stop praying to see Dean again.)

After two thousand years in Hell Castiel lost himself in the waves of hate. Before hell he had never felt pure hate before but as his flesh was ripped and burnt in the very middle of Hell hate was all he knew.

In the end, everybody breaks, even the purest angel.

_**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**_

Surprisingly our journey does not start in Hell.

Our story starts in a small town in Texas with a man standing in the shadows, a small toddler in his arms. He walked with an air of danger (like a predator) and the small girl slept with her head pressed in the crook of his neck. The girl had to be around three and the man's age was impossible to tell as the shadows covered his face.

About five metres behind them a woman's body lay dead on the ground, her throat slit and her eyes black. She had been possessed till the moment she was killed and she had been the child's mother.

Her body lay discarded on the ground, killed by the sharp knife in the man's pocket- the very knife he had been tortured with. He had no idea why, but he could not get rid of it.

The little girl wore a small black clock, the hood pulled over her face and it was wrapped around her to keep her warm in the freezing breeze. The man held her close, and it was not clear which one was clinging to the other for comfort more. The man's left hand was placed gently on her back and he held her like he was afraid she was going to break.

Our journey starts on the anniversary of the second year of Castiel's death and the birth of the man who walked, holding his daughter.

There was a sharp gush of wind and her hood was knocked back.

The moonlight showed their faces. The man's face was bland, his hair black. His eyes were the darkest shade of blue possible without actually being black. They were the only thing of the image which was anything like him- but it was only a momentary vessel to get his daughter. He was still waiting for another, better, vessel to come along.

The little girl's hair was a chestnut colour, brownish with red lowlights. It had the potential of being either when she grew up and he soul was very much the same. Not evil or good. Her eyes were identical to her father's as she looked up as him and moved her little fingers to touch the side of his face.

She was the only one who could touch him without warning without making his reflexes kick in.

His face showed no emotion as he held her closer. She placed her head back down.

It was two human years since Lucifer took Heaven's baby away from life.

It was one thousand and five Hell years since Castiel had last spoken.

It was one year and eight months in human times since Castiel woke up in the vessel he was currently in. His true self was scarred and damaged yet his vessel was in a perfect state.

It was two thousand four hundred Hell years since Castiel died alone on the cold floor, killed by his brother.

It was two years since he saw the human he had gone to Hell for (he could not really remember the human's name).

It was one thousand four hundred years since Castiel had given in to Hate.

It was one thousand four hundred years since the real Castiel fell asleep and what remained of him changed (mutated) into what he was as he walked along in the shadows.

It was less than one hundred and twenty seconds since he had slit the demon's throat without blinking before picking up his daughter from where she stood, witnessing her mother's death with no sign of distress. Her eyes had watched in a bored manner, as if she had seen it happen a thousand times before.

When her mother hit the floor (dead) the girl simply looked at her father and reached up for him to pick her up.

She had seen worse, after all her mother was a demon.

She did not know what her father was. Even he did not know what or who he was.

"Daddy?" Her voice was muffled by the material of his vessel's jacket. "Are we going to see the short man?" She had seen the man in her dreams- she knew what her father wanted and she knew what he would get. She always knew things.

The man gave a nod, his lips not even considering moving.

He rarely spoke- it came from the habit of forcing himself not to scream. He did not see the point, he did not need to speak to get his message across.

Yes, they were going to see the short man. He was going to pull in a favour from the same man Anna had.

_Anna_. He could not link the name to anything apart from red hair. It was just another name which floated in his mind, grown foggy over time.

He remembered many names which had been mixed up with foggy faces. The name _Gabriel_ was one which he felt hatred towards yet he could not really remember why.

_(Because he watched you die.)_

He would often hear the little voice in his head and the voice belonged to Alastair. He felt no emotion for the voice. It held the answers after all.

Another name was _Dean_. What he felt for Dean was a mix of pure hatred and another feeling he could not name. He didn't want to name it.

_(Coward.)_

There was only one thing he wanted as he walked with his baby in his arms.

What the creature which really wanted revenge and one thing he had was patience.

He was going to kill them.

He was going to kill all of those who were to blame for what had happened to him.

He was going to make them suffer like he suffered and he did not care what (who) got in his way. He wanted them to suffer and feel as alone as he had.

He did not want to be loved, he had known for a long time that nobody had ever loved him and never would. He did not really care (he would not admit he cared anyway).

He wanted the hurt to go away but he knew it never would. He wanted them to go away so he could forget.

It would not happen fast but the one thing he had plenty of was patience and no matter how long it was going to take he was going to get his revenge.

It was only a matter of time.

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So? Good? Bad? Please let me know but NO flames. Reviews make me write faster! All mistakes are my own. X  
PLEASE, please, pretty please review!

**Love,  
J.**


	2. A Man With No Hope

**Summary:** The death of Castiel was a tragedy. With his return war is near and everyone chooses their sides- in the very middle of the battle one man can stop it. Will Dean choose to kill Castiel or risk humanity to the thing Castiel has become?

**Warnings**: Gore, slash, torture, language, implied sex, implied (past) rape, blood-play... LOTS of death. :D

**Pairings:** Dean/Castiel, Gabriel/Sam, Ruby/Sam.

**Disclaimer: **You should be glad I don't. X

**A/N: H**ey guys! This is the sequel to _'To Break an Angel' _and I have to say, this is the FIRST sequel I have ever written! *squeal* Dedicated to the lovely(ISH) **1909Katerina** who forced me to write.  
OMG! I'm back! Updates will now be weakly. *looks guilty* I'm SO sorry about the wait!  
Fanfiction has been evil and not allowing me to reply to messgaes so review replies are at the end of this chapter. You have NO idea how happy you make me. :)  
Please review at the end or I won't know if I should continue!

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_Tears are forming in your eyes,  
a storm is warning in the skies,  
the end of the world it seems,  
you bend down and you fall on your knees,  
well get back on your feet ,yeah,  
don't look away, don't run away,  
baby it's only life,  
don't lose your faith, don't run away,  
it's only life.  
_**Kate Voegele** **-** It's Only Life

* * *

Dean Winchester had always prided himself for how he managed to keep people out of his heart. There had been times in his life he had slipped up (like with anything) but from those times he had learnt and become better. He had become harder and his world had been based around his family. His family were the only people who truly knew him and he was grateful for that.

He had never been a person who would easily fall into the never ending pit of self pity or heartbreak, when he hurt he kept it all inside and when he finally released it it would come out as a burning ball of rage rather than the tears he refused to shed. Even when his brother had died in his arms he hadn't stopped in pity for long- he chose rage over the pity and went to Hell to protect his brother's soul... Because he was loyal and he would never allow the kid he had practically brought to suffer if he had anything to do with it. He had never regretted going to Hell for Samuel and he never would. His father had always told him to _keep Sammy safe_ and Dean would never disobey his father's orders.

His upbringing had been hard- his childhood had ended the cruel night he had held his tiny brother in his arms as their home burnt in the cruel flames.  
(Thinking about it, that was probably where his fascination with fire had come from.)

Dean lived by the rules he had been given and they had been the only thing to keep him sane. Without them he would never have lasted forty years in Hell and the life he lived would have driven him insane long before it finally started to tug at the chains of his sanity. He had never allowed himself to truly love anyone outside of family so he'd never wished for anything else. He'd never truly thought he wanted anything more from life- it had always been Samuel who had wanted a 'normal' life no matter how hard Dean tried to tell him that they would never have anything normal. They weren't normal. How could they be after all they had seen? They had both seen the very pits of evil and they had both learnt about the cruelty even 'superior beings' like angels could hold.

They had both nearly lost faith in there ever being anything better because everywhere they looked they could see more shadows than good. Their life stripped away any chances of being able to trust in others and it gave them all the more reasons to hide away from giving their heart out.

Dean had told himself he was fine with never loving so many times he almost believed it... Then his rules had been taken away when for the first time in his life he couldn't help but love with all of his heart and soul. It had taken him a long time to work out what he felt but when he did there was truly no going back.

When rules are broken they remain broken.

_"Let him go! Lucifer __please__! He's just a baby...! LUCIFER!" Gabriel's cries faded. Castiel could not breathe, never mind scream yet all he wanted was to cry. Lucifer took no notice of them as his forehead rested against Castiel's and they both slipped to their knees._

He had fallen in love far deeper than he had believed possible- he had fallen in love with the very last pure creation of God and he had grabbed hold of that innocent being and he had dragged Him down to his own level. He kept on taking the best of Him, never giving back and the one he had fallen in love with had sacrificed himself in the worst possible way to protect Dean from his life. The Angel Dean had loved had given himself so that Dean would be safe.

Dean never even got to say thank you. He never truly got to say anything because the moment his rules were completely demolished into useless ashes the person who had become his wall had been taken from him.

It cruel, twisted and evil but the moment Dean truly admitted to himself how he felt his Angel had been dragged down from Dean's level and taken to Hell. Who was worse? Dean for weakening him or the Devil for taking him?  
Dean would swallow and his lips would say it was the Devil but his shattered heart would sob and say it was his fault. No matter how hard he tried to blame someone else he would always end up looking in a mirror and hating what he saw.

Only he, Dean Winchester, would be able to take someone as perfect as an Angel and cause him to lose everything. Only he could do it... and he had. He could not help but blame himself for everything which had happened and as much as it hurt he couldn't escape it. The one time he had fallen head over heels in love he had been so busy denying it he had hurt the one he loved.

In one strike of a silver sword Lucifer Himself had broken down all of Dean's lies and defences as he saw his own soul begin to shatter. With the second move Lucifer destroyed Dean's hopes and his rules and Dean was left watching everything crumble to the ground with the lifeless vessel of his Angel.

It hurt too much to even think the Angel's name.

_Dean was too numb to feel sick. His little heart was pounding in his chest like a trapped animal. It couldn't be happening... He had to be able to stop it... He felt so numb it hurt and at the same time his heart was racing so fast he thought he would burst, or at the very least faint. After everything that had happened it was going to end like this. It wasn't ending with bravery or joy- it was ending with blood and fear._

Dean had left not long after that. He had left in the middle of the night knowing his brother was safe with his very own archangel. Gabriel and Sam had each other and as Dean made a final call to Bobby he couldn't help but finally allow the long overdue tears to fall. None of his 'family' heard from him for a long time after that. He called Bobby from time to time but only to know about hunts. He was always gone before Sam and Gabriel got there (Gabriel never truly tried to look for him and Dean was grateful for that small mercy).

Hunting had become his life- it had become his everything.  
He fell into a pit of desperation and he wanted, _needed_, revenge for what... for who was taken from him.  
So Dean did what came natural to him and he hunted anything and everything he could, never caring if he lived or if he died. What did it matter anyway? He had nothing to live for.

_Castiel opened his lips, yet only a line of red rolled from them. Whatever he whispered was only ever heard by Lucifer and once he heard them he did freeze for what might have been years before tightening his grip on the cool metal. "I am sorry Castiel."  
"No, you're not." Castiel let out the chocked words before saying what he knew would probably be his last words as himself. "And neither am I."_

Every single night the nightmares came, slowly causing his mind to break under the force of the images he had to keep reliving. His only escape from them was to stay awake and every waking moment was a nightmare in itself. It had taken forty years to break him in Hell but reality was breaking what Hell could not. Everything he did reminded him of his Angel and what he would have said... How he would have reacted to things Dean said or how He would have tilted his head and stared at him with the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen.

_"Please... you can't leave me... I promised to protect you..." He didn't register Sam trying to find something to free Gabriel with. He could only see Castiel, lying in his arms unmoving. "I promised." He sobbed again, each sob silent yet desperate. "I never break my promises... not to you." His lips pressed again the angel's forehead. "Please don't leave me Cas."_

Crowley was always two steps behind Dean, waiting to pick up the pieces of whatever Dean broke. He had promised Castiel he would do that and no matter how hard he tried he could not break the promise he had made the young angel. Last he heard of Castiel was that he had changed and still in Hell- slowly becoming the creature Lucifer half-wanted him to be. Crowley could not believe Lucifer fully wanted Castiel to become a monster.

Not even the Devil could want that for his baby brother... Could he? Crowley didn't believe that after seeing the look in Lucifer's eyes as Castiel's life was taken with Gabriel's sword. The look in Lucifer's eyes had been a look of pure agony and even thought Crowley had been hiding as he watched, even Crowley had seen how vulnerable Lucifer looked as he dropped Castiel's body to the ground, unable to look at him any longer.

_His fingers were deep in Castiel's hair as he held him tight. He was as cold as ice- and as unmoving as ice. Over the years Dean had seen many bodies, bodies of children and adults alike but they had never made him feel like he was feeling. He was feeling so __numb__ it hurt. "Cas..." He kept on rocking. "__I love you__." He realised he sounded like a little child calling for its mommy as he moved his right hand to the side of the angel's face; his left hand remained on Castiel's side._

Every night Crowley would hear Dean's sobs in his few hours of sleep and it would break even his demonic heart. He knew the ritual well.

Dean would finish the hunt and he'd go back to his motel room.  
He would drink as much as he could.  
He would angry and yell at Crowley... trying to hit him as he stumbled and fell onto the floor.  
He would sob before Crowley would knees in front of him and wait until Dean had finished- when Dean did he would fall into a fitful sleep and Crowley would place him in bed as sadly go and sit in the corner of the room.

It was always the same but Crowley kept doing it because he had promised Castiel he would keep Dean safe... There was no way in Earth, Heaven or Hell that Crowley could break that vow. He didn't truly want to. Castiel had died to protect the human and Crowley couldn't just let the kid die for nothing.

He couldn't.  
(He wouldn't.)

_Blue eyes stared up, not seeing and not blinking. His chest did not rise or fall. There was no movement apart from Dean running over before falling next to him, pulling the body (the __corpse__) of Castiel into his arms as he pulled the cold metal out of his already cold skin. He shouldn't be so cold. Why was he so cold?_

What Hell could not do, the death of Castiel had done.  
Dean's very heart was shattered and it seemed all will to fight was gone- he was running on the pure wish for revenge. It was a wish which would very likely get him killed.

Crowley sincerely doubted that Dean would mind if that did actually happen.

It was always the same for Crowley as he watched Dean whimper in his sleep and call out for the one person who could have chased his nightmares away. But Castiel was never going to be there again, Crowley knew that just as well as Dean did. Castiel was in his very own nightmare and there was no way to save him.

Unlike with Dean, the angels could do nothing.

Heaven and Hell had split and a third group had been formed- a rebellion which included every type of creature created which had any bit of love in them. Crowley was the momentary leader to it as their true leader remained in his personal Hell. Yet they were waiting for him. Sooner or later he would return and when he did they were all ready to be lead by him no matter who he had become.

Crowley would never have believed it before, the idea of angels and demons working together, but Castiel had always been one to prove something was possible. He had been created strong of will and he had died strong of will. Even in death, he was strong of will. Crowley had never seen such hope as the hope the young angel had stirred and he'd never seen such anger as the young angel's death had created.

It had taken him a year to truly think about everything what had happened and when he had more questions than answers. How could God create such a kind and innocent child only to allow him to give his own soul to protect a human? Had God always known what would happen to his most _perfect_ creation?

_"Oh Cas..." He whispered, "Why did it have to be you?" He rested his fingers on the side of his face for half a second before pulling away. Dean didn't need to look up to see a final tear roll down Gabriel's face before the flutter of wings filled the empty air. Dean simply looked down at Castiel as he tried to work out why he hadn't stopped him. After everything they had been through, Dean hadn't been able to save him. He had let him down the way he let everyone down._

It made no sense to Crowley as he remembered who and what Castiel had once been- all the demons and angels could see how young and impulsive he still was. He had been much like a human child, testing the boundaries his family had set for him and in a moment of courage the angel had joined his brothers in seeking the first seal... nobody had expected for it to be him to actually be the one to save it.

How could an all loving father create such a delicate child and then allow it to suffer so much? Crowley had once been a father himself and he had never claimed to be a good father but he would never have allowed his son to be born knowing how much he would suffer. How could a father do that? Create so that the creation may be destroyed in every possible way?

_"Let him go! Lucifer __please__! He's just a baby...! LUCIFER!" _

After that day Dean never really cared how badly injured he was, he would fight and on more than one occasion he would have died if it were not for Crowley. When Crowley had saved him Dean's eyes had glittered with a strong hate. He didn't want to be saved. He didn't believe he needed to be saved. But Crowley knew the truth.

Dean needed to be saved but the one way he could be saved wasn't going to happen. The only way Dean Winchester could be saved would be for him to have Castiel back and things to how they were before Castiel made the deal with the Devil.

But that was never going to happen, the old Castiel was gone and even if he did ever leave the pit he wouldn't be the same. Nobody could be the same after two _thousand_ years in Hell. It had taken thirty years to get Dean to torture- one hundred for Castiel to weep on his 'trip' to Hell. But who knew what kind of creature could be created with that amount of time.

Even Crowley, the King of the Crossroads, could not imagine it.

_No prayers were ever answered and slowly Castiel had stopped praying, slowly but he had. He knew if he kept praying he would have to lie and he could not do that. Castiel had grown up alone and he had slowly become used to being alone._

Soulmates. Dean had never really believed in such a thing yet it only took Crowley one glance to be able to tell what Dean and Castiel were. They were meant to be together, that much was clear.

According to Theosophy, whose claims were modified by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls, equally male and female. The belief was that over a number of reincarnations, each half would seek the other.

Crowley had been able to see how the two had completed each other- they had become each other's strengths and they were each other's weaknesses. One was going to be the death of the other and Crowley had guessed from the start it would be Castiel hurt because of Dean. Dean was too stubborn to admit his feeling to realise _before_ something irreversible was done.

Dean had been running on autopilot before meeting Castiel and the moment Castiel had gone he couldn't find a way to cope. He had found all hope drained from him and there was no way around it. Castiel wasn't going to ever be back.

In truth the two were going to meet again but it was still in their futures, awaiting a moment to jump upon them. Call it whatever you want- fait, destiny, prophecy or luck but as both men lay their heads down and shut their eyes (one alone and one holding his sleeping daughter close) they both knew something big was going to happen. Neither of them realised how soon it was going to be.

_**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**_

Gabriel had tried his best not to get involved with what was going on between Dean and Sam... Or at the very least he had tried to stay out of helping Sam find Dean. It had been hard but he and Crowley had made sure the two would not bump into each other. He had tried his very best but as the younger of the two brothers stared at the other he knew he had failed.

The demons were clever, distracting Sam by causing him to notice how his brother was slaughtering them. Even Gabriel's heart froze as he saw the empty pit contained within Dean's eyes. Blood covered him yet Dean's mind was only focused on the next kill. He did not even glance at his brother as his shining dagger glittered in the ruby blood of demons and his fist impacted with a vessel's nose. He was blood thirsty, killing anything and everything he could. He seemed to have become what Alistair had wanted him to after all. He had become a killing machine.

The demons seemed to fall like dominoes yet every time one fell another seemed to appear. Gabriel glanced down at the flames which surrounded him and then looked around the building. He flinched at the feeling of déjà vu. The demons had chosen a building which they knew would remind them of where they had lost Castiel.

It was sick but it did the trick.

Dean was so consumed in his own rage he could not see any sense. He did not see the advantages the demons had or how clear their plan was. There was no way he could ever beat such a large number of demons and he did not see how when the bodies fell there were little inconsistencies. It was almost like an illusion- all within their minds but some details had not been finished.

The silver material over Gabriel's mouth refused to be removed no matter how hard he pulled it. It seemed he was the only one who could see how the blood on Dean was just as imaginary as the bodies on the ground. Sam was frozen in place, his eyes on his brother as if he had seen a ghost. There was an air around him that Gabriel suspected that Sam was frozen in place, an easy target if the person pulling the strings wished to kill him. None of the demons attacked him.

Gabriel's eyes scanned the room one again and his eyes fell upon a young girl (about sixteen) sitting not far from him, her large hazel eyes glittering happily and her lips curved as she watched the scene unfold. She looked so innocent the world around her seemed to not matter. Gabriel tried to focus on her yet his eyes widened as he recognised her.

Her hair was pulled into a long black plat and she wore a tight white shirt and plain black jeans. Her boots had three inch heels and the bow which held her hair in place was the same hazel as the her large eyes. She had a small fringe which covered her forehead and fell just above her eyes.

It took a second for it to sink in, the young girl and the fact the demons the brothers were fighting _were not real_- nothing but the building was real. Gabriel opened his lips to yell to the brothers yet he could not yell. No matter how hard he tried his voice refused to work... No matter how hard tried he could not get his vessel's _or_ his voice to work. One of his hands short to his neck as the girl pushes herself to her feet. (Both brothers were smashed to separate walls.)

Hazel eyes glittered as all the 'demons' disappeared. She giggled as she walked over to the flames which surrounded Gabriel. Her small right hand waved and her head tilted, and suddenly it didn't matter how big or small she was. The girl was _petrifying_ with the mix of light and darkness within her.

"Hello." Her voice was small but strong, fitting for a girl her age yet the smirk on her face was older. Her eyes met Gabriel's.  
The feeling around his neck disappeared as words came out. "Hello." His voice sounded almost too low to hear. "Hello Eli." What was he meant to say to the kid who had both Sam and Dean dangling off the ceiling like puppets? What was he meant to say to the sister he had abandoned?  
"Hello Gabriel." Elijah smiled, yet eyes glittered with an anger towards her long lost brother she was yet to express. "I have a message for you."

Because that was how it happened. Dean and Castiel's reunion did not happen quickly, it was not romantic and it most certainly was not something which belongs in the fairytale. The reunion which was yet to happen was the first of a never ending line of mind games which their future was full of.

Because, they weren't a fairytale, they weren't in a romance novel or one of Chuck's tidy little stories. They were two broken creatures, shadows of what they had once been. They were both new types of creatures, created to be cards within the game even God could not have predicted. They were both cards without any hands dealing them out because the game had not begun yet.

There are many legends about Angels who fell. There are few stories of angels that have died. Thousands (_millions_) of story of humans who had died. There is one true truth.

It took one thousand years for Castiel to forget why he forced himself not to scream. It took one thousand five hundred years for it all to become a game to the once angel.

Their reunion wasn't quick. It wasn't painless. It wasn't sweet or loving.

But their reunion, say what you will about it, was a perfect reflection of who (_what_) Castiel had become.  
A lie.

The angel Castiel, the youngest of all the angels, had become a new kind of monster but nobody but he, Dawn and Meg's empty vessel knew that. Even Lucifer, his new creator, had no idea of what he had done.

(It took two thousand years for him to forget how to feel anything but hate.)  
(It took one thousand nine hundred years for him to fully stop praying to see Dean again.)

It took one little girl to give a small message, a location and in both Heaven and Hell demons and angels were wiping away the sorrow they had felt and they were separating into sides for the coming war. Castiel had returned and war was at the very tip of his very last gold feather.

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So? Good? Bad? Please let me know!  
Now the review replies:

**1909Katerina** - Yes, so _very_ modest. :) It's still an **ISH** no matter how lovely your comments are or how I grin every time you review. X  
I killed Meg just for you... and for the plot. But mainly for you. :D I hope you like this chapter just as much as the first as this entire story is dedicated to the lovely(ish) you. Your review was amazing and I hope I won't dissapoint you. XX

**Iryann** - I'm sorry you think it's sad. :( It's only going to get worse before it gets better... Thank you for reviewing! I hope you liked this chapter! X

**Inuyashasgirl18 **- I'm glad you liked it! Hopefully you keep enjoying this story and I don't dissapoint. X

**kipangel17** - I'm SO happy you liked it! Sorry about the wait, I'll be good from now on, I promise. :) I hope you keep reading and liking. X

**HalfBloodAlchemist-10 - **Thank you SO much! Your review meant a lot. I can't promise a happy ending but I'll try my best not to make it as evil as the last ending. :D Hopefully this story won't be a letdown. X

**Kay-Chan311** - Thank you! Hopefully you'll find the answer to your question soon... X

**Loki88** - Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm really happy you liked it but this story won't be over for a while. ;)

**silvercoin18** - Haha, I can't promise anything... you'll just have to wait and see. X

**RedBrickandIvy** - Sorry about the wait, hopefully it was worth it. :)

**MemoriesOfNobody** - Thank you for reviewing, hopefully you'll keep on liking what you read and liking what you like. :P X

**NoControl** - I hope you liked! Thank you for reviewing!

**Eminnis** - Emmm... Not quite the ASAP either of us were hoping for, was it? *nervous laugh* I hope you liked it even after all the wait. X

**Becky Rookwood** - Thank you for reading both of my babies. :) I hope you keep on reading this baby and I hope you keep liking!

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So here we are, end of chapter 2! Please tell me what you thought, your reviews mean SO much to me!

**Love,  
J.**


	3. The Broken and the Found

**Summary:** The death of Castiel was a tragedy. With his return war is near and everyone chooses their sides- in the very middle of the battle one man can stop it. Will Dean choose to kill Castiel or risk humanity to the thing Castiel has become?

**Warnings**: Gore, slash, torture, language, implied sex, implied (past) rape, blood-play... LOTS of death. :D

**Pairings:** Dean/Castiel, Gabriel/Sam, Ruby/Sam.

**Disclaimer: **You should be glad I don't. X

**A/N: H**ey guys! This is the sequel to _'To Break an Angel' _and I have to say, this is the FIRST sequel I have ever written! *squeal* Dedicated to the lovely(_ISH_) **1909Katerina** who forced me to write.  
Feel free to chuck rotten tomatoes at me. I deserve it. *hides in shame* Also, in planning I was thinking of this story becoming a trilogy... What do you guys think?

* * *

_I didn't get around to kiss you  
Goodbye on the hand  
I wish that I could see you again  
I know that I can't  
_**Avril Lavigne** **–** Slipped Away

* * *

The feathers on an angel's wings are just as revealing as the colour of a human (or demon's) soul (their very _essence_). Unlike what humans believe no angel has completely white feathers on their wings- when an angel is first created their feathers are the purest gold you have ever seen, glittering with even the smallest glimmer of light. Over time the soft feathers change to a silver gray, much like some children quickly grow. No angel has ever remained pure enough to keep completely gold feathers because no angel has ever remained that pure.

Castiel's wings had been nearly completely gold when he had first met Dean Winchester, only having two silver feathers on them. One from entering Hell and one for the link between himself and the human he had saved from the Pit. Even as he had fallen in love with _his_ human his feathers had still been gold. Only two more feathers had changed from the pure gold (the colour of the sun's very rays) to the misty silver but even then, the very tips of those feathers had remained a mix of the two colours and the colour had run through the centre of the four feathers.

When he had made the deal with Lucifer, his _dear_ big brother, another feather had changed colour, turning from gold to a dark grey. After his first trip to Hell a good handful of his feathers had turned a shade lighter than Lucifer's black wings were. His eyes, once a crystal blue had darkened and the light once held within them seemed to have faded away.

After his second trip Hell, all but three feathers were the darkest black possible, far darker than Lucifer's wings had ever been. Yet, unlike Lucifer, three lonely gold feathers remained at the very tip of his left wing, glittering just as brightly as his wings once had.

His once crystal blue eyes had darkened with his feathers, painfully so as his brothers and sisters (both fallen and not) would flinch when they saw him. Heaven's baby had fallen into the darkness which had consumed him and which had become him. He could no longer tell himself apart from what he had been told was the truth. His memories were blurred and after so long lost within his own silence he had no idea if he could even control his voice anymore. He had forgotten everything which had once formed who he was and the new him only had one thing stopping him from slaughtering anyone he wanted.

It was funny, how there was only one thing controlling the extent of his madness but Dawn truly was the only reason Castiel had not started seeking his revenge- every single time he looked at her he could see the hope she held. She was the key to his downfall and the key to him being saved.

Her hair was pulled into two pigtails and her pink dress had little sparkly sequins attached. Her small nails were pink and the bows in her hair were the same black as the bow around her waist. Her soul was blurry- she had the light an angel would have within their grace and she had the darkness which formed demons. Her eyes were the same colour Castiel's had once been, the colour of the pure blue crystals which glittered on the very doors of Heaven. To any angel or demon who looked at her it was obvious who her father and mother were- her soul glittered with the colours Castiel's had once been and the darkness which her mother had been.

She was a walking contradiction, she was an abomination.

She was his little girl.

Castiel let out a small sigh, scolding himself for allowing emotions to distract him. Emotions would be the death of him if he wasn't careful. His affections for his daughter were dangerous enough and he knew she would never willingly betray him but the old emotions which had begin to surface had been the death of him once already.

He wasn't going to allow it to happen again- his death had been his own mistake and he was going to set things right. He was going to make sure he and anyone on his side were strong enough to fight a full scale war. Emotions would just get in the way of his aims (whatever they were). He knew patience was important because if he wanted revenge against those who had been to blame for what had happened to him he needed to get close to them again. He needed them to trust him again before he could strike them down.

Carelessness had been the downfall of many before him and as he sat, watching his daughter playing with the Blonde demon, he knew even his affections for his baby were dangerous but he could not control them. She was the only link to any form of positive emotion he had and for an unknown need for the emotion. If he ever lost his link to it he knew that he would be completely empty- he would just be the killer Lucifer had carved him into.

Dawn giggled as she jumped into the blonde's arms and Castiel watched the demon smile as She swung Dawn around. Castiel's lips almost twitched at Dawn's little squeal. "Daddy! Look Daddy!" Both the demon and Dawn looked over at him and Castiel gave Dawn a small nod, telling his little girl he was watching. The blond demon placed the little girl back onto the floor yet still held her hand as she leaned over to make herself level with the girl's gaze. Black eyes looked into the blue eyes and both girls smiled. Dawn nibbled her bottom lip as the blond grinned.  
"Can I have a word with your daddy for a second Dawnie?" The gentleness in the demon's tone startled Castiel yet his face was impassive as he listened, still checking that the demon was reliable. "Demon stuff." The demon gave the girl a small wink and Dawn nodded, knowing instantly she would be bored if she remained there. Her blue eyes drifted to the other demon in the room and she smiled.  
"Can I play with Mr. Crowley then Aunty?" Her eyes looked at the demon pleadingly and as the demon's reserves melted under her gaze her smile only grew. "Thanks aunt Ruby!" Ruby smiled as Dawn gave her a quick kiss on her cheek before running over to Crowley, jumping in his arms the moment she was close enough.

Ruby got to her full height once again before shaking her head. Her lips remained curved as she moved to sit next to Castiel, her eyes quickly glancing to where Dawn was passing Crowley one of the new dolls Douma had gotten her. Her eyes moved to the said angel who sat opposite of Castiel and she nodded in acknowledgement and sat next to Castiel, her eyes meeting to his and her body flinching at the coldness contained within the broken creature.  
Douma was the first to speak, his vessel's voice gently painted with a slight accent. "Elijah was seen speaking to the Brothers and Gabriel. We suspect she told them Lucifer's location." His vessel's green eyes moved from Castiel to Ruby. "We also have been told that the number of both demons and angels have increased- it seems the most significant soldiers who have died have returned. Nobody knows why."  
Ruby nodded. "Much like myself many of us found ourselves alive in our preferred vessels." She flicked her blonde hair off her face. "None of us remember anything but most of us are ready to side with you- the few who have not are being... _dealt with_."

That was in fact true, nearly every demon and angel which had been somehow related to the events in the last three or more years seemed to be crawling back to life like worms which had been cut in half. Ruby had returned the day after Castiel, Castiel had heard from reliable sources that Anna was indeed back and the list kept growing. Around ninety nine percent of those who had returned had already informed him they were ready to side with him and were spying for him. Those who had not sided with him were either being '_dealt with_' or slowly being '_encouraged_' by people already on his side. Castiel's army was already nearly finished and it seemed the large majority of both Heaven and Hell were ready to fight till the end with him. The old Castiel would have flinched at the idea of leading an army into war but the new him didn't even twitch.

Ruby kept on talking, "It seems that word of you being back **has** reached both Michael and Lucifer. Lucifer has sent out several demons to search for you and Michael has told several angels to keep their eyes and ears open. Both of them are searching for you." Castiel nodded, taking a brief second to consider the fact. He knew nobody but his most trusted demons and angels knew where he and Dawn were. He knew by keeping the numbers low the risk also remained low.

Of all the things Castiel had been called, stupid had never been one of them. The moment the Winchesters, Gabriel and Elijah found Lucifer then trouble would begin. He had to get there before them but he had other minor _details_ had to be taken care of.

"And..." Ruby and Crowley glanced at each other once again as Ruby's voice lowered a single pitch. "We need to..."  
Douma let out a sigh as he gently stated what he knew Ruby was trying to get to. "The child. We need to discuss what is going to happen to the child. She is a danger to keep around, no one being should possess the power she has- if either Lucifer or Michael got their hands on her the battle would be lost." Castiel kept his gaze steady as he watched the faces (not the faces of the vessels, the true _faces_) of the two creatures who sat before him and he tried to keep control of his thoughts.

_God_ he felt lost- not that he would ever admit it- and as the giggles of his little girl reached his ears he knew that the outcome of the war would fall into her small hands. She was a new creature, made of the deepest and purest darkness and the lightest and most perfect love. She represented the loss of innocence and the possibility of redemption. She was what should never have been created and she was the key to the future.

She was _Meg_'s child.

She was the _old Castiel_'s baby.

Castiel felt the sudden urge to sigh as he got to his feet just as silently as he always had. He had over _two thousand_ years of practicing how to keep it all inside and he had even longer in terms of how long he had been lying.

His eyes remained just as cold as his composure as he watched the other two creatures (what were they if not creatures?) rise to their feet when he did. Both avoided his eyes, obviously afraid of the beast within him.

He felt like laughing at the idea of creatures actually fearing him. The only thing he feared was Michael or Lucifer getting their hands on his baby yet he was not sure why it scared him... was it because of the weapon she could be or the fact she was his baby?

_Even Lucifer felt like flinching at the change as he went to visit him- the blue eyes that looked back at him were not the eyes that belonged to the loving Castiel. The new look in the eyes was anything but pleasant, the look that was in his eyes was the look that belonged in the eyes of a killer. Someone who did not care about who he hurt._

It took less than five strides for him to reach Dawn, who quickly jumped into his arms, looking up at him with those beautifully trusting crystal eyes. There had once been a time he had looked up at his own Father with such trust.

Maybe it was written somewhere that all fathers were to let their children down.

_He was either going to break or he was going to become the biggest predator yet. Either way he was going to be __powerful__._

Ruby glanced up from the floor to see if he was giving her consent to approach them, once she saw his pose was not fully defensive she approached them.

"Dawnie?" Ruby smiled as she leant forwards so the girl could gaze into her empty black eyes. "Auntie Ruby has a final present she wants to give you. Do you think that would be okay with your daddy?" The little girl nodded eagerly after glancing at the _thing_ holding her and her eyes widened almost comically as Ruby pulled out a plain silver necklace with a single pendant on it. The pendant was a silver heart with eleven little white stones on it. It looked old, far older than anything Dawn had seen before and as Ruby closed the chain so it remained around her small neck her fingers moved to touch the cold piece of jewellery.

_The old Castiel wept in the furthest corner of his empty and breaking mind he allowed himself to sleep and allowed the new Castiel to take over. If he was to survive Hell it was the only way, but it still hurt._

Dawn smiled as she snuggled into her father's embrace, her arms wrapping around his neck so she could glance over his shoulder. Her lips parted so she could whisper small words into the vessel's ear.

"I trust you daddy." They both knew that the little girl meant that statement with all of her small heart.

The statement made Castiel want to laugh as he held the only other creature in existence apart from God which knew everything. She already knew what was coming next and she knew how the battle was going to end. She knew the things her father was capable of and she knew how she had been conceived within the blood of Heaven and Hell.

She knew what Hell had forced her father to become even more than he knew.  
She knew what would happen if he chose for her to die and she knew what would happen if she was allowed to live.

She knew _what_ her father was yet she loved _who_ her daddy had once been and as she told him she trusted him she meant it with all of her heart. He was her father and no matter what he chose she would be the one being which would remain loyal to him.

He was the only family she had left.

_**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**_

Elijah said nothing as Gabriel slowly approached her, his eyes taking in his little sister. With (as he believed) Castiel still in Hell it made her the youngest angel in creation. She was only a human week older than Castiel was yet two angels had acted much like human twins even if she had been brought up by Gabriel and Castiel had been brought up by Lucifer.

It wasn't until his hand was on her shoulder that she pulled away, her face and voice hard. "I'm not here for a nice little _reunion _Gabriel." She spat out his name like she did Lucifer's. "I'm here so we can get _my_ brother out of the mess you put him in." She watched Gabriel flinch with an air of satisfaction.

Dean was already on his feet, not even glancing at Sam who had barely touched the floor. His eyes remained on the girl who was glaring at Gabriel.

"And if you even _consider_ saying you're fucking sorry I will _slaughter_ you." Her tone was icy as she held her hand up in such a manner to tell Gabriel to shut up before he had even moved his lips. "I'm not here for me, you or any of our _siblings_. I'm here about Cas." Her eyes flickered to where Dean stood.

"He's in Hell. There is no way to get him out of Hell." Dean tilted his head, eyes watching the angel suspiciously. "What is there to talk about?" His tone was nearly as cold as Castiel's eyes had become as the bitter-tasting words had left his lips. After two years trying to find a way to live with the fact that Castiel was in Hell to save _his_ soul he had only one way to live. Alcohol and telling himself all he could do was go down fighting in Castiel's beautiful name. As all eyes fell upon him he laughed humourlessly. "What? We were all thinking it." He didn't need to look at Sam to know his little brother was flinching.

Elijah let out a small sigh as she averted her eyes from her once-brother. She stopped thinking of Gabriel as a brother the day a small Castiel had been held in Michael's arms asking their brother why everyone kept leaving him. She looked at the younger Winchester who was staring at Gabriel like a lost puppy.  
"Is there a way to get him out?" Sam's tone quivered as he looked at Gabriel as if he held or the answers. Elijah resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the human's neediness.  
"I already told you... I wish there was." Gabriel's tone was gentle as he replied. "If there were he wouldn't be _there_ right now." Both Gabriel and Sam flinched at the idea of where they thought Castiel was.

"With _there_ I presume you mean Hell." Dean rolled his eyes. "We're the ones who put him there. You might as well say the word." Gabriel glared at him as Dean continued speaking. "Unless you know how we can get Cas back I have places I need to be and things I need to kill."

There it was, that look in his eyes which was also present in Cas' eyes. They were lost, their faiths shaken to such a point they were no longer in existence. Castiel was a shell of what he had once been, a creature he had been forced to morph into. Dean was the shadow of who he had been, a being others had failed to make him yet the loss of the one person he had truly let in had made him.  
They were both creations of the worlds around them, above them and under them and they both had different sides of the same look. They had both been forced to change.

"He's not in Hell." All eyes shot towards her as the words left her lips. "He was until recently... Something happened and he's gone. Nobody knows where he is only that he's a threat."  
Silence had engulfed the room until it was Dean's voice that asked the question they were all thinking. "He's back?"

"Yes but..." Elijah hated herself for what she was going to say. "He was in Hell for two _thousand_ years. He isn't the angel you fell in love with. He is powerful enough to already have an army and clever enough for nobody to know who is in that army." She took a deep breath. "He is a danger to..."  
"But he's back?" Dean interrupted her little speech with the only question that mattered.

"Yes."

At that precise moment that was all he needed to know.

_**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**_

Ruby let out a deep breath the moment Castiel and Dawn left the room, her blonde hair falling onto her pale face and her eyes returning the colour of her vessel's eyes. Douma sat on the chair behind her and his green eyes remained as emotionless as his vessel's nineteen year old face; his worry was only shown by how his long fingers knotted into the short blonde hair. Crowley leaned against the gray wall next to the door.

"Do you think he'll do it?" Her question echoed in the empty walls of the building it all started in. Her eyes flickered to the faint gray marks where Castiel had died the second time and she flinched. "Do you think he'll be able to kill Dawnie?" She may have been a demon, yet the idea of the small child dying was no longer something which didn't bother her. Since she'd been back she'd found herself more _human_ than she had been in a very long time and she wasn't sure if she liked it or not.

"Probably not." Crowley didn't seem to mind the answer as he gave it. "She is his only attachment to Human Emotions, he knows as well as we do that if he did kill the child there would be nothing to stop him being worse than Lucifer has become after killing Castiel." Both he and Ruby flinched at that idea. "Without her Castiel will have no reason to control himself."

"She's a risk; if her power fell into the wrong hands we would be condemned." Ruby shifted slightly, her teeth nibbling her bottom lip as she continued watching Crowley.

It was Douma who spoke next, his tone gentle yet just as emotionless as it usually was. "We all know it is in the child's destiny to Die. No amount of effort will change that, it is the way it is meant to go. The only thing which will change to outcome is _when_ the child will die and if it is by Castiel's hand... Somehow I doubt if it is he who will kill the child, he will kill the child for a fair while yet." He gently moved to his feet. "He is still deciding and all of our fates depend on the choice he will make."

Ironically, Douma (the angel of Silence) was correct with what he said. Their fates were all dependant on the choice Castiel was struggling to make. In some ways, everyone's fates were being held within his palms as he moved a lock of his baby's hair off her face. The girl _was_ going to die- it was her destiny to die at one point of the battle or another- but when was crucial.

None of them truly understood how important one little girl's fate was in the course of the war because if they did know things might have gone very differently. But none of them knew how many secrets about their futures were hidden within the mind of one small child.

So, the world kept spinning, not knowing about the battle so near in the future. Heaven and Hell kept lying, telling themselves that they could prevent war. Everyone knew that was a war because nobody knew who they could trust, nobody knew who was on what side. The lines which had once separated the sides were blurred and Heaven's youngest angel and Hell's darkest creation was back, far more powerful than any of them could ever imagine. His black wings were just another piece of evidence of that and the three gold feathers (one of which was slowly fading) showed the little purity left in him.

In a matter of days he was going to see Dean again and his plan would start to be... It would start to be. Because the war approaching earth was not a cold war, it was going to be the hottest and most bloody war since the start of creation if one choice was made. Just one choice held the answer to if the war was going to end in a river of blood or _something else._

But none of them knew the full extent of the options held before them... yet.

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So? Good? Bad? Please let me know!  
Now the review replies:

**1909Katerina** - I'm SO glad it was worth the wait... Was this chapter worth it? I couldn't seem to get it right. :( This was my final attempt...  
Wait... If you're an angst junky am I your dealer being paid by your reviews? 0.0 LOL! x Thanks for reviewing, as usual I send hugs and blame you for EVERYTHING in this story. :D

**RedBrickandIvy** - I swear I'm not giving up... :) I'm now fully sure where I am heading with this story. *grins* Thanks for reviewing! x

**Wolfgrowl** - Haha... Sorry, I must admit It will get pretty dark. :) Hopefully you'll stick around long enough to see it's not all dark... Thanks for reviewing! x

**MemoriesOfNobody** - Sorry for making you wait! I hope it was worth it... Thanks for reviewing. :D x

**Kipangel17** - Oh... emm... Not really ASAP but I hope you still liked it... Thank you for reviewing! :P x

**Sweetheart from Hell** - First thing: I ADORE your name. Seriously. Second thing: Thanks for letting me know what you think... I'm glad you like and I hope you keep liking. x

**Eminnis** - Thank you! Really, I really appreciate the fact you like this story and I hope this chapter was just as good as the others. x

**EsScaper** - THANK YOU! *grins* I'm glad I didn't ruin the original characters... I was really scared I had. :) Trust me there will be PLENTY of angst! x

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So here we are, end of chapter 3! Please tell me what you thought, your reviews mean **SO** much to me!

**Love,  
J.**


	4. Shadows Part I

**Summary:** The death of Castiel was a tragedy. With his return war is near and everyone chooses their sides- in the very middle of the battle one man can stop it. Will Dean choose to kill Castiel or risk humanity to the thing Castiel has become?

**Warnings**: Gore, slash, torture, language, implied sex, implied (past) rape, blood-play, twisted-ness... LOTS of death. :D

**Pairings:** Dean/Castiel, Gabriel/Sam, Ruby/Sam.

**Disclaimer: **You should be glad I don't. X The errors are all I own! Well, them and a Glee boxset... *shakes head*

**A/N: H**ey guys! This is the sequel to _'To Break an Angel' _and I have to say, this is the FIRST sequel I have ever written! *squeal* Dedicated to the lovely(_ISH_) **1909Katerina** who forced me to write. Also, I'm SO sorry about the delay... I've had some bad things going on in my life. My grandad has bowel cancer and very possibly lung cancer, his skin codition is getting worse and the other day he tripped cutting his face wide open. He was too weak to get up and would have bled to death if he had not been found. His wife, my nan, is suffering a great deal because of stress and her own face condition which make talking very painful. Their oldest son, my dad's big brother, had a stroke closely followed by a heartattack. He has recently had heart surgery and isn't well in the slightest. My father is heartbroken and my manic depressive mother isn't happy. The bullying at my school is getting worse as my friends have chosen to abandon me... Oh the joys of being fourteen!  
:( I wish I could promise I will be better with updates but I truly cannot... I will try harder though. I'm not very happy with this chapter but the next chapter, already written, is far better. *_* Please read and review, it can be your eary birthday present to me as my birthday is on April the 16th! All review replies from last chapter are at the end of this chapter...  
I'm sorry in advance if this chapter is dissapointing. I really did try.

Ps. Someone reviewed on my last story saying this is predictable... Is it? What do you guys think?

**_

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_**___Back it up, back it up  
Stop, fast-forward, rewind  
And watch the sun, watch the moon taking turns in the same sky  
And you were dead as the leaves, now you're new like the spring-time  
Back it up, back it up  
Stop, fast-forward, rewind  
And once it's done.  
_**Maria Taylor** **–** Time Lapse Lifeline

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Every culture existent believes in good and evil – how could they not? The evidence of them existing is all around us, within us and within the shadows slowly drowning out the slowly fading light. Within religion and even the books and stories we read every day, we are always told how it is always good which overcomes evil. We are told there is always a dawn at the end of the night.

From the moment we are capable of understanding what we are told the illusion of good being stronger than evil is clearly seared into our brains. We are told about how when you turn a light on (even a tiny candle) the light chases the darkness away- what we are not told is how the darkness is still there, lingering and waiting for a single second of weakness on the light's behalf and then it will attack. Quicker than you can click your fingers. The light needs fuel to keep going but the darkness does not. Sooner or later the light will run out of fuel. But we are never told that.

Lucifer didn't want to consider himself as evil, or even a complete sadist like humans believed him to be. Lucifer didn't want to see himself as a monster so awful children had nightmares of him dragging their pure little souls to Hell. In truth, he didn't really care what others thought of him, but since the Event two years earlier he couldn't help but see himself as the monster others believed him to be. The moment he had held his baby (he had still been a baby _dammit_) brother in his arms and had watched his beautiful soul be dragged into hell he had lost whatever illusion he had been under that he wasn't evil. How could something that wasn't evil do that to something so... What had Castiel been before he had dragged him down to His own level?

Castiel had been the last pure angel, that fact had been obvious by just looking at the beautiful gold feathers which had covered nearly all of his glorious wings (wings made for flying, not falling). Castiel had been the first angel to truly stand up for what he believed was right and he had been strong enough to love a human without ever asking for anything in return. He had willingly chosen to go to Hell to protect two humans who would never truly appreciate it.

Castiel had been Heaven's blue eyed baby, naive enough to believe that the light at the end of everyone's tunnel wasn't going to burn his fluttering wings.

Castiel had been a baby and even as Lucifer held the weapon he knew was going to take his life; he had stood tall because he believed in the _greater good_.

Lucifer had never truly hated killing until the moment the light had faded from Castiel's petal-like lips and from his wide blue eyes. The Devil wasn't meant to feel sick but the sound of the lifeless body hitting the ground had made him feel as if he was about to collapse from the lack of air getting into his body. The Devil wasn't meant to, but as he let his little brother fall to the ground he just wanted to hold the body in arms and weep.

Funny thing, is it not? When Lucifer had first fallen he had killed many angels in the battle and he had never truly even considered them, but after killing Castiel the names of all of the angels (his _brothers _and_ sisters_) that he had killed just filled his mind, slowly driving him insane.

_Castiel. _His baby brother. _  
Phanuel. _He had damaged his wings to such an extent the angel hadn't been able to do anything other than twitch when his end had arrived.  
_Ahariel._ He'd been good friends with Gabriel. Lucifer could only remember that one useless fact and the fact his eyes had been a vibrant orange.  
_Janax._ He couldn't remember anything about her apart from she used to sing, a sound so very different from the sounds of her screams.  
_Salmon. _He was just a name._  
Adrael and Adriel. _The angel equivalent to twins.

Lucifer almost flinched, knowing there were hundreds of thousands of names and faces he was avoiding thinking about. The sad thing was he couldn't remember anything about the large majority of those he had killed. He couldn't remember their names, faces or even how he had killed them. He hadn't cared enough at the time to even consider those he was happily destroying. _  
_  
He had never truly felt guilt (he was the devil after all) before and feeling guilty so suddenly hurt.

Just thinking of the sickening look in Castiel's eyes and the horrible echo of the words Castiel had barely succeeded in chocking out still caused Lucifer to want to cry. He knew nobody had, apart from himself, heard Castiel's final words (whispered like a prayer) and that only made it worse.

Castiel's birth had been the last great action before their Father, God Himself, finally rested from creating, giving the angels and humans time to settle. Castiel's birth had been the day every star, planet and galaxy twinkled with a new light, only having been created a few hours earlier. Nothing had started aging until the moment Castiel's eyes opened and those beautiful, lively crystals looked up at the three brothers who had been meant to protect him.

Lucifer knew he was never going to see such innocence again because there was _nothing_ even half as innocent as Castiel's tiny, diamond soul had been. There wasn't a single creation anywhere near what Castiel had been until the idiot angels in Heaven had allowed him to save the already broken seal. He had been perfect until his shining fingers had wrapped around the human soul's arm and had created the bond that was going to be the end of an era.

All prophets (Lucifer knew where all six of them were) had seen the war which was approaching them like a tempest. There was no avoiding it, they all spoke the same stuttered words as they stared into the cold pits of Lucifer's eyes. The war was going to be started by the blood of an innocent and ended with the very same blood. Lucifer could see no logic as he ran his fingers through his vessel's short hair. Once the blood was spilt, it was spilt.

How could it be spilt a second time?

Lucifer couldn't have hated his Father more if he had tried. Castiel had been created for a purpose- Michael, Gabriel and Lucifer had been told that much- but never had they imagined that he was going to have to suffer so much. Their Father had created him knowing (causing) all this torture to happen to him.

He was a child, how could their Father claim to love all of his creations if he was going to make so much pressure fall on His youngest till like glass he shattered into a thousand sharp pieces? They knew he would take down those he had been broken to protect.

If the religious humans on the Earth believed that Lucifer was the one capable of the worst evils, they had no true idea of the God they worshipped. How could Lucifer be the worst if God's actions made **him** feel sick?

Yes, he had done unspeakable evils. He had killed so many the blood could paint the universe twice but as he remained in the shadows looking at the faint outline of where the wings were still visible to the supernatural eye he knew he wasn't the worst being. Lucifer knew he had been created to fall just as strongly as Gabriel had been created to run away. Michael had been created to lead Heaven's army. Castiel had been created to be slaughtered only to rise again as the type creature that belonged in nightmares. They had all been created to serve their purposes.

There was no running from what was already written to happen but Lucifer truly believed that if ever if it came to saving his own life by killing Castiel again (which, it might) he wouldn't be able to do it. He knew he wouldn't be able to look at what he had forced Castiel to become and end it once more.

Yes, Lucifer knew he was a monster... But he most certainly wasn't that much of a monster.  
That role, he decided, was filled well enough by the humans his brother had allowed himself to be slaughtered for. It was a role their Father had known would be filled and a role he truly did hope with whatever heart he had, that Castiel would never have to be the owner of.

He was just a child after all.

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

Whenever her father's demons were too busy Dawn was left alone to play in a protected area. That day was no different from the rest.

Dawn's tiny little fingers were wrapped around the doll's waist as she moved the object so that she could see it properly. The doll was around the size of her palm, the long white hair thrice as long as the body even with it held in the elegant plat. The doll's dress was the same light blue as Dawn's eyes were and the skin was a pale porcelain that felt as cold as ice to the young abomination.

Dawn remained sat on the wooden chair, her little legs dangling in the air as her eyes glued themselves to the look on the perfect porcelain doll's face and the dolls tattered white wings. The thin pink lips were parted in what could have been a scream and the small eyes were wide in horror as if she had seen the attack, the one which had left the red mark on her neck, coming.

The little girl's perfectly white teeth gently nibbled her bottom lips as she moved the doll next to her ear so she could hear the dying creature's faint heartbeat. Nobody had ever given her a fairy queen that had lasted so long after her people had been killed by the demons that wanted to clear the area so her daddy and she could stay there so the other angels... she was fairly sure they were called Michael and Lucifer... wouldn't find them. Her daddy had told her that she didn't need to worry about such things when he had handed her the limp doll and got one of the vampires that served him to take her away.

The heartbeat was almost too faint to hear as Dawn ran her fingers over the almost velvet like hair. She had heard about this fairy queen, she had been one of the few which had refused to take sides in any form of battle outside her own community. She had refused and refused until the demons had seen it fit to _dispose_ of her saying she was more trouble than she was worth.

Dawn's father hadn't even blinked at the tiny little mass graves where the demons had lobbed the still twitching creatures nor had he said anything to the little fairy they had locked in a lantern so the green light emitted from her folded wings could amuse them until she died from a broken heart. In all honesty Dawn didn't know if she should feel sorry for the Queen or the small survivor. Both of them seemed so fragile yet one still had hours to live before the demons threw her into the fire for crying... The Queen had around twenty seconds left if Dawn were to guess from how quickly the speed of her heart was slowing.

No... Dawn knew it was less than of her first guess. The Queen only had fifteen seconds before any destiny she could have had was faded to a midnight black and she joined her beloved people wherever fairies went when they died.

"It's okay, you know." Dawn tilted her head in the same manner her father once had when he had first met the human brothers Ruby spoke of. "You're going to die in a few seconds." The Queen's heart gave a quick beat as she attempted to stay alive. "Don't fight it. Just let it take you..." The fairy's large eyes seemed to regain a small amount of focus as Dawn shivered. She knew her father wouldn't cause the death of a being that did not deserve it but the pain in those eyes was not directed to herself. Surely a small act of mercy couldn't hurt anyone? Dawn knew her father would never know. "It's like falling asleep your Majesty. Just allow yourself to go to sleep."

The Queen wasn't the first being Dawn had seen die, nor was she the first being whose heart she had heard struggle to give a final beat. Dawn had seen many creatures (mainly humans) die at the hands of her mother simply because the demon had been _bored_ and wanted to engrave what demons believe into Dawn's head before Castiel found them (it had, after all, only been a matter of time before he did).

Dawn knew her father did not kill for the thrill of it- he tortured those who deserved it and when he did kill it was for the sake of what he was ready to fight for. What he was ready to die for. Meg had never truly been ready to die for anything and **that** made all the difference in her young eyes.

Dawn knew both of her parents had been and would be ready to sacrifice her at any point if it became necessary but the difference was the fact Meg's reasons were selfish while Castiel's were... Castiel's motives were broken yet even in the darkness of his bleeding soul they were as pure as they could get in such conditions. Unlike Meg, Dawn knew the oldest part of her father did actually love her and that fact hurt.

In all honesty Dawn would have willingly given anything to be with the man (angel) her father had once been. Would he have been the kind of father that gave her a cuddle? Or would he have been the strict father that would offer her a small smile that would light up her day whenever she did well?

What did Castiel's voice sound like? Dawn had only heard him physically speak out loud twice and both of those times she had been sinking into the embrace of sleep so quickly that it had been a gentle buzz as he moved a single one of her little ringlets off her face. Meg never did anything like that, simply leaving the child wherever she fell asleep only caring about keeping guard.

Meg had never loved Dawn, Ruby had told her as much and Dawn tried not to remember her time with the Demon. She tried not to remember the look of satisfaction on Castiel's usually blank face as his knife slit into her mother's vessel's throat. Instead, Dawn chose to try and imagine how her father had once been before the light flickered for a second too long and the shadows had fully taken over. The light that remained was too small, too afraid, to dare to gasp for life. But that didn't stop Dawn from daydreaming of a father with gold feathers not covered in the blood of the next 'necessary sacrifice' for the war they were fighting.

The Queen's body only took a second to light as Dawn gently placed her into the flames where many of the Queen's most loyal soldiers had been burnt till they were no more that ashes. There is no sight like a fairy burning, I must tell you that much.

When a Queen fairy is burnt, the very flames turn the colour of the Queen's wings as the said wings ripple and curl like a piece of paper would. There is the smell of lemongrass which makes your head burn for a fraction of a second as the Queen's servants fall to their knees. Dawn's dark blue eyes flickered over to the only remaining fairy of the Queen's Order and her heart felt like breaking for her.

The small creature was on her knees, both palms pressed against the glass as silent sobs left her and the emerald tears dripped off her porcelain skin. Even from the distance Dawn could see she was shaking and the fairy's wings were wrapped around her life an embrace.

Dawn had seen more life within the eyes of the dead than there was in the little magical creature's eyes as the flames reflected within them.

"It's only going to get worse, you know." Dawn looked back down at the fire as she said the words that caught the fairy's attention. "Soon we will all be burning as the day the Fathers of Sin will judge us arrives. The fire will become the very waters and the sky will alight like a forest. The rain will be acid and the sun will burn the flesh until there is no flesh. The sand and dirt will be the blood of the few innocents and the guilty will be the bloody bricks for the new order. There will be no magic, angels or demons. There will simply be the creatures we were made to be." Dawn's head tilted once again.

"The world will burn no matter what Daddy tries. With his return the war is imminent. Do you see it too?"

The child's head snapped to the side as she sent a chillingly calm smile to the fairy, her black eyes like the dead of night. With her third blink the darkness had faded and they were the colour of pure water again. Her grin morphed into the smile any little girl should have and the rosiness on her cheeks returned.

"Dawnie, come on sweaty." Ruby looked worried as she outstretched a hand for Dawn to take. "Your dad is leaving. Don't you want to wish him luck?"

Dawn didn't hate her mother, no matter what. She didn't hate Meg because at least Meg knew what she was doing was wrong. Dawn couldn't hate her father because he was past the point of caring if he was doing the right thing. She loved her father no matter what choices she knew he was going to make.

Castiel was her father and she loved him... But that most certainly didn't stop Dawn from wishing it was her father coming to say goodbye and not Ruby telling her she should hurry even though they both knew by the time they got there he would be long gone.

Dawn loved her father but that didn't stop the little girl from wondering who he had once been as she ran to take the demon's hand and allowed herself to be lead away.

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

As far as plans can go, he knew his plan was so simple it might have been considered careless. He hadn't considered all of the possibilities and it didn't seem possible he had thought about even half of them. His plan seemed reliant on the element of surprise. In truth he had considered the options far more in depth... He just found this plan the most _effective_ (or rather, the most amusing).

Waltzing into the building was far easier than Castiel had predicted. There were no demons guarding the doors and there were no traps to protect the building in case there were any supernatural visitors.

In any other life Castiel would have found the fact that the Devil was so careless very interesting. Maybe he would have gone as far as consider the lack of preparation as a trap in itself. But Castiel didn't need to look to know that the only two beings in the building were himself and his _darling_ big brother. Lucifer knew Castiel was coming and alerting his demons would have alerted Michael.

Michael was one of the few angels who Castiel could imagine trying to kill him without a second thought. Castiel couldn't remember a time since he had been created that Michael looked at him with anything but distain. Michael had always known Castiel's creation (after the humans were made and soon before they were tempted) was bad news.

(It was funny how right he had been.)

The wooden floorboards creaked under Castiel's feet as he entered the building, his dark eyes scanning around himself to check for danger like all too weary prey. The dark grey walls were splattered with long dried red and the hooks in the slaughterhouse were also the colour of those who had been hung on them.

Cardboard boxes were stacked everywhere, forming mountains in certain areas and in others they had been knocked down by the flying victims and now the simply lay still sealed. Rats scattered across the ground, seeking shelter from the creature they could sense such power coming from. Small squeaks of fear left their small mouths and the cockroaches also ran.

In truth, Castiel could see what Lucifer had been trying to make others see for so long. The creatures humans considered vermin weren't that different from Humans. Like with any species they varied in appearance but the same fundamental qualities remained. Like humans, the vermin ran the moment they sensed a being so much stronger that themselves. Like humans, when they got afraid, they abandoned the light and tried to find refuge in the darkness. It is simply a natural response all animals have.

We are all animals in the end. Vermin, human, demonic or angelic. We are all animals.

Moss was growing on the rotting wooden ceiling and the panels were so loose several parts of the structure had fallen to the ground over the years and judging by the amount of spider webs, none of the pieces had fallen too recently. The regular sound of the rain dripping through the broken copper pipes was almost soothing as a stray pigeon flew trying to find its way out of its large prison. The prison it had entered seeking refuge and had remained in just long enough to forget its way home.

The half rotten body of a large rat lay half eaten near Castiel's feet and once he paused he saw the tiny maggots crawling beneath the remaining flesh. From the smell alone it was clear the rat had died a long time earlier.

"Revolting, is it not?" The sound of Lucifer's voice did not come as a surprise as Castiel nudged the body with his shiny black shoe. Unlike the outfit his vessel (had its name been Jason or another name starting with '_J_'?) had been wearing, the one chosen from him was understated. He wore plain black trousers with enough pockets on the inside to hide seven knives, a plain black turtleneck with a white dot on the side where he must have wiped his hand on at one point or another, his shoes were black and glossy and his leather jacket was dark enough to be considered black. His brown hair had been made a tiny bit longer than it had been on his previous vessel but he didn't really care.

His nails were meticulous, not a chip in sight. Underneath them lay no dirt, instead they were so clean they seemed like his hands had never really been used. His flesh was soft enough to not contradict any beliefs his nails brought up.

"It was eaten by other rats." Castiel's eyes found where Lucifer was sitting on one of the many brown boxes. "Its own flesh and blood." Lucifer's eyes remained on the rat's body. "Family is always the one that betrays you. Don't you agree?"

Castiel gave a brief nod before stepping over the leftover of the corpse, his eyes fixed on Lucifer. If he did not know better Castiel would have said that Lucifer almost looked sad but for what he was sad about Castiel did not know.

Lucifer's eyes weren't as cold as they had once been as his own gaze finally moved to Castiel. A flicker of an un-named emotion (Castiel almost labelled it as relief) passed through them. "You're back. I thought it was just a rumour until the demons started dying." His lips were tugged slightly to the side. "Do you know how you're..." Lucifer didn't have to finish the question for Castiel to shake his head. He honestly had no idea how he was back. "Oh..."

The silence swallowed them again as Castiel remained standing as still and as coldly as a marble statue.

Lucifer pushed himself up to his feet as soundlessly as one of the spiders which had snuck over the palm of his hand. "So, brother, why are you _here_? Sammy, Dean-O and Gabriel will be here soon enough." Lucifer took a tiny step closer. "But you know that don't you?" A smile grew on Castiel's face as he let out a silently bitter laugh. Of course he knew.

"Why are you here Cas?" The question lingered in the air, bouncing between the walls like a bullet in a room with no oxygen. They both knew the answer yet neither of them expected the answer Castiel's lips gave.

"I _**love**_ a good reunion."

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So? Good? Bad? Please leave feedback. I truly do need some good in my life. :) I can't believe it has been a year since I stated it was my birthday in the first part of this now-to-be Trilogy *gasp*! Yep, Fallen4Cas you guessed correctly! The next one I was planning is 'The New Alliance'. :D  
So... onto the replies... I hope I haven't forgotten anyone! If I did, feel free to chuck lemons at me!

**Fallen4Cas:** Thank you for ALL of your amazing reviews! Truly I am flattered. Sorry for keeping you waiting but I hope I managed to make up for it... Next chapter Dean and Cas will be reunited. x  
**SuperNaturalGurl32:** I hope you liked this chapter. ;) x  
**Eminnis:** Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you've liked it so far... They were never actually together in this story as Dean was too stubburn to admit he loved Cas till it was far too late. Haha... Maybe they'll have a bit of luck in this twisted little story! :P The ending is both sad and happy. It's bitter... Many will die, I assure you. x  
**1909Katerina:** I truly smile everytime you review. :D Thank you SO much... I don't know what to say to you apart from this story is dedicated to you for a reason lol. Thanks for actually believing in me. x  
**RedBrickandIvy:** Thanks! I hope this chapter was ok... x  
**NoControl: **Thank you! I hope it keeps being good. x

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**Love,**  
**J.**


	5. Shadows Part II

**Summary:** The death of Castiel was a tragedy. With his return war is near and everyone chooses their sides- in the very middle of the battle one man can stop it. Will Dean choose to kill Castiel or risk humanity to the thing Castiel has become?

**Warnings**: Gore, slash, torture, language, implied sex, implied (past) rape, blood-play, twisted-ness... Major character death.

**Pairings:** Dean/Castiel, Gabriel/Sam, Ruby/Sam.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**A/N: H**ello. This is the sequel to _'To Break an Angel' _and I have to say, this is the FIRST sequel I have ever written! Dedicated to the lovely **1909Katerina** who forced me to write. I'm very sorry about the delay but things in my life haven't been good. My grandad died, his wife is in a depression and my bullying has escelated. Don't worry, I won't bore you with the details but this is all having consequences on my health by triggering my asthma, bringing back the small lisp I had a child and the continual migrains and shaking. *laugh* I wanted to thank all of you that reviewed and I'm sorry that I didn't reply to all of you. I'm back on top of things now so everything eill be running smoothly I promise. I apologise for any errors in this chapter but I also had an essay about Stalin to write to I was busy. Please enjoy and forgive me for such a wait. x

Also re-uploaded with a good few errors removed. Also I forgot to hope **1909Katerina** is better. :) Sorry about the delayed wish.

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_Hush, child, darkness will rise from the deep,  
and carry it out into sleep, child.  
Darkness will rise from the deep,  
and carry it out into sleep.  
_**Heather Dale** **–** Mordred's Lullaby

* * *

Fear is a funny thing. Some of us consider fear a reflex, something which was_ placed within us_ as a way to preserve our miserable little lives. Others consider it a drug, a button to be pushed and twisted until it becomes nothing more than an adrenaline rush pulsing through your veins. Yet we know it is there, always waiting and watching as long as we have something to lose.

The moment we have nothing left to lose apart from our lives (if they even matter by then...) there is no fear. Why would we have need for it?

Castiel showed no signs of fear, not since he had been pulled down to Hell the second time after the one member of his family that he still loved had killed him. He didn't have much left to lose because he had done what humans do: he had forced himself to forget. His life was nothing more than a pile of dust with half faded faced left on the top to encourage him to remember. It had taken a while to even remember how to fly as his wings twitched and shook with the shock of the world around him. Nothing seemed to make full sense and his memories felt like they were no longer his. As a habit, he kept his emotions in check.

Fear is an emotion and Castiel would not allow it to influence him. He wasn't even sure it would affect him. He'd stopped feeling it to the point that he couldn't remember what having something worth dying for felt like.

Even he couldn't ignore all emotions and there were several that still guided his actions. There was anger, hatred and there was a good portion of madness. He knew that as well as anyone else did because as his mind ran at a thousand thoughts per second he would hesitate and wonder if he'd always be so desperate for revenge. He may be young but he wasn't naive. He'd stopped being naive as fear faded and as he changed he only kept a little drizzle of naivety. That too would die soon enough in our tale.

It's funny how easy it is to shatter someone's self-confidence and it's almost pitiful how close to being human Castiel actually got at points of his existence. Maybe at this point of said existence he would feel sick at such a thought- but of course there would be a small part of him that would linger with sadness that he had been saved from being human only to become yet another toy in God's name. Maybe Castiel would neither of these options but I cannot surely say without lying to you and like the Devil I have no need for lies, I leave such games for Heaven's squad, as the truth is always the best way for you to trust my words for what they are. I am not God so I do not know what could have happened or what the still bleeding, mutated, little angel would feel. I don't believe anyone would be able to honestly tell you.

Who but he has been in such a place and become such a thing?

Castiel did not like fear. It was fear for what would happen to others that had caused him to become who he was. It was fear and pure stupidity that lead him to make certain choices. No matter what others said, he did like fear in the eyes of others.

Fear and humanity came hand in hand and he hated humanity. He hated them for being the ones that were always somehow protected by his father and he hated them for being given so many second chances when they did not deserve it.

(He would often remind himself that envy is also a very human emotion.)

Lucifer's vessel suited him, Castiel decided as he allowed his eyes to scan over his enemy.  
(Enemy. He had stopped being his brother a long time earlier.)  
(No matter how much the sense of familiarity around him caused his feathers to sting and his last few golden feathers to shrivel and hide like a stay mongrel looking for heat in a snow storm.)  
(He didn't understand the coldness because no matter how full of hate he had become he was still a little child who had seen too much and not understood enough.)  
But, of course, it had been a very long time Castiel had seen Lucifer covered by anything by his own darkening blood or his hands full of anything but sharp weapons that were intended to rip whatever grace he had left to small golden red shreds.

Lucifer would probably say the same about Castiel's vessel. Unlike the last one, even though the basic features remained the same, his black hair was slightly longer, lingering just above his shoulders and his eyes were several shades darker. Do not get me wrong, they were the same colour yet they were so empty that all the emotions running through such a little space seemed to confine within them. He was still the same height as before yet he was taller. He was the little brother he had killed yet he had become a stranger long before that moment.

"Are you just going to stare at me until my wings are feathery white again?" Lucifer's words were the only things to break the silence after what felt like hours. Maybe the Devil's timing had become off during the years- or maybe he was as human as the humanity he despised. Castiel believed the second option far more than the first. "No?" A shrug found its place on Lucifer's shoulders. Yes, definitely the second option.  
"I don't think all the bleach on earth could succeed in such a task." Castiel remained still as he stopped his head from tilting in a manner his old self would have used. "_Brother._"

Of all the things we could say about Lucifer we cannot say that he did not love his little brother because in his own twisted manner he loved Castiel more than he had ever loved anyone but himself and their Father. Yet even in his sadistically twisted temper tantrum he could not stop himself for wanting to flinch at the word. How could just one word have such an effect on the king of Hell?

Like with anyone or anything, there is only so long the balance between what is good and bad disappears and everything seems tinted by the same hateful gray. There is only so long you can go hating something before you pick up some of its trait without even noticing. Lucifer had hated humanity for far longer than Castiel had loved it and he had learnt many things he blamed humans for when he fell. He hated them all to the point he spent so much energy hating that parts of him kept what he had learnt. He developed emotions that angels were never meant to feel and he never truly realised that since his fall even though his powers were not diminishing he was becoming more human no matter how hard he tried to deny it.

"I could say the same about yours." Lucifer's eyes scanned the empty air behind Castiel, his face failing at being half as cold as Castiel's. "They have to be a good deal darker than mine ever were."  
Castiel let a small sound of approval leave his pale lips. "But then again, Lucy, I fell harder than you ever did. Over and over again." He took a step closer to the other fallen angel, eyes silent of emotion. "I fell in more than one sense, did I not?"  
Lucifer nodded. "For a human none the less." He couldn't help the scorn in his voice just saying the words.  
"And you fell for pride. Who are we to judge what the lesser of out our evils are? Pride is a sin according to Daddy Dearest and falling for a human is a rule that does not need be spoken." Amusement would be the closest fitting term to what laced his voice. "I even had a child with a demon. I've been to Hell twice and let me see... Oh yes. I'm not exactly what you call sane." An eyebrow popped up and his pale features seemed to flicker with yet another emotion he did not understand.

For Lucifer the agony which passed through him was not what he saw coming next. Not that he'd underestimated Castiel to what he believed the once angel had become but he had never truly thought something so little would be strong enough to harm in.

(Humans have adrenaline rushes when they are in danger. God made it so His youngest would be able to fight when all he could feel was so much _anger_...)

The agony was enough to cripple the older angel and as a small smirk plastered itself like a stranger on Castiel's face they both knew that whatever came next would be ruled by a very human emotion.

(The need for revenge is something that was only released when snow white teeth bit into a ruby apple and like for Snow White a new time of darkness descended.)

By the time he left, his big brother was no more than another mutilated rat on the ground.

_**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**_

Balthazar was a good actor. He truly was and maybe it came with the fact he always put himself first. He kept himself safe and cared about nobody else because nobody else truly mattered. He lived with the very best pleasures humanity could offer and he tried to never look back. He tried and almost managed to leave everything behind him like he had planned to when he faked his death.

But, he had his weakness. And this weakness was the reason why he was sitting, glaring daggers at one of his _darling_ big brothers. This weakness was the reason why he had come out of hiding and it was the reason Gabriel had gotten so attached to a stupid little human. This weakness was the reason why his true form was shaking with anger and it was the reason he was trying his best not to release said anger on said brother. Balthazar had never been very good at resting temptation yet if there ever was a reason to try he knew this was it. He could be as violent as he wanted later.  
Maybe he'd even kill something later. Or sleep with it. Maybe both. Maybe in a different order too.

Elijah had been a good sibling in following his instructions on how to get everyone where they needed to be and as he stepped out of his corner, he had to laugh at the shock on Gabriel's face. He had always disliked Gabriel as he found him too overbearing with his powers. Not that he was subtle, but as far as showing off went he found Gabriel rather draining. As if half of heaven hadn't guessed who Loki was. At least when Balthazar disappeared from the raider he had actually put some effort in. It wasn't easy making it believable yet sometimes having a weakness actually helped. By allowing his weakness to mourn him the other angels believed in his death because Balthazar wouldn't hurt his favourite sibling if he had any choice in it. By letting his little brother mourn for him Balthazar had almost broken down because as good as he was at playing games, there were some games even he did not like.

"You idiots got my brother killed." He watched the confusion turn on their human faces turn to fear at his playful tone, knowing that the pure hatred in his eyes was also showing in his smile as his arms remained crossed on his chest as tight as they would get. "And then you trust _Elijah_? Are you stupid or just challenged?" He rolled his eyes, teeth sinking into his bottom lip in a far too human action of emotions acting out. He popped his mouth, trying to keep himself calm enough to talk.  
"_Balthazar?_" Gabriel still looked shell-shocked, a sight that Balthazar would have once paid to see. "You're meant to be dead."  
"So are you." Sharp eyes glared at him as Balthazar growled out the words. "Sadly, these days I barely get a break because rumour has it that you guys screwed up. Majorly." He didn't move. "It also turns out that said screw up is said to be back and not very happy."

Breathing was a human action, one that angels did not need to do yet they imitated to fit in. Balthazar had been copying it long enough for it to be a habit and at that moment his breaths were slightly harder than they needed to be, shorter in their spans and deeper than previously. His eyes were narrowed and his lips were pressed into a trademark smirk as he slowly shifted his weight from one foot to the other, silently reminding himself to not do anything drastic to give them a clue about how furious he was.

"So, I thought I'd come and visit the human he loved so much he allowed himself to go to _Hell_." He snapped his head to the side, focusing on Dean. "And good Dad am I disappointed. You? Really?" He shook his head. "Of course he'd fall in love with the first seal. He always had a weakness for suffering creatures. He used to think he could help them." Balthazar shook his head. "He always managed to get himself hurt for them too. When he was little he almost died once trying to help one of the early apes as they drank poisoned water. I think it was twelve of them that died." Dark amusement remained on his face. "Not that his efforts were ever truly worth it." He allowed a moment of satisfaction at Dean's flinch.

"So, you're what, one of the angels?" Dean's voice somehow contained its usual sharpness.  
"Oh! It's clever too!" Balthazar threw his arms in the air. "Suddenly everything is worth it."  
A glare from Dean warned him of the human's fading patience. "How did you hear about Cas?"  
"We're calling him Cas these days? How sweet."  
"You didn't answer the question."  
"I don't need to answer anything from you. Unlike Castiel I am not in love with you. I have no reason to listen to a word you say so be very careful what you say next."

(Balthazar was a good actor. He was good at putting himself first and not caring about anyone else. He was good at not looking back... Unless Castiel was involved.)

"Why are you back after putting so much effort into pretending to die?" Gabriel moved away from the humans, slowly approaching his brother.  
"Castiel is back. I wasn't able to save him last time because I foolishly believed that you idiots were actually going to be able to help him. I foolishly thought that Team 'Free Will'," He moved his fingers to enunciate his sarcasm. "Would be able to help one of their own. We have a second chance and I will not allow you **idiots** to get him hurt again. He has been in Hell a very long time and he is going to need somebody that actually gives a rat's ass about him. He's going to need his family not some messy children that will try to glue him back together."

"I'm his family too." The pettiness of the statement was lost in the tone of Gabriel's voice. Both Dean and Sam flinched at how lost his voice sounded. He was like a child, stating sadly that a toy was his after it had been broken. "I'm his brother too."  
"No, you're not." Balthazar didn't do anger unless it was provoked and as he ground out the words he took great pleasure in them. "You gave up all rights to being his brother when you left him to be brought up under _Michael's_ idea. You lost all rights to being part of his family when you left him just after Lucifer left him." He didn't take in the look of shock on Dean's face as he kept his words rolling. "You broke any promises you made him when you decided he's be fine without you."  
"You faked your death too." Once again, the pettiness in Gabriel's voice was lost. "You left him too."  
"At least I left him something to mourn."

Balthazar's vessel was taller than Gabriel's and that only helped him as he brushed past, a fake smile plastered on his face. "But that's not why I'm here. The reason I'm here is so that I get to give you guys a message from Castiel." He paused directly in front of Dean's body, face almost touching face. "I know he's alive because he found me and he had a _very_ interesting little message for the human he gave up so much for." He leaned in, until his lips were barely a millimetre from Dean's ear. "He told me to tell you one very important thing." The whispered words that followed caused Dean to step back, face pale and heart racing. Balthazar also stepped away.

To anyone who was wondering why Sam hadn't said anything yet, I'll have to take a moment to describe his and Gabriel's relationship. Neither one of them ever truly verbalised any form of feeling in any way but physically. They felt no need for it yet since Castiel's death they had formed a sort of bond that merged with Gabriel's guilt and also helped Sam forget how much he missed his own brother. It was not, as many would say, a healthy relationship. It was a whole new level of issues and it rivalled Sam's relationship with Ruby because at least with that they both knew it was blood that mattered.

With Gabriel and Sam there was no blood, yet the unhealthy **want** was there. They needed each other yet they would never admit to it. Pride damaged both of them and blinded them to what they needed.

Watching his little brother die had damaged Gabriel like losing Sam had damaged Dean. But for Gabriel, there were no deals he could make. Even an archangel was rendered powerless as simple flames stopped him from being able to do anything. Unlike the first time he walked away he couldn't pretend Castiel was going to be fine because in Hell you are anything but fine. The first time the little angel had gone to Hell they had broken his innocence and in the second Gabriel dreaded they would break his mind.

(Oh, if only the damage had been so small. Maybe then this story would be simpler because a broken mind is still the same mind- a maddened mind is harder to fix. An angry, maddened, angry and _violent_ mind? Fixing such a mind would never be such an easy task.)

Sam had lost Dean once again the moment his brother drove away. Even if he had still been able to track him because of predictable false names he had lost his big brother the moment everything fell apart.

(The best, yet very worse name Dean had used? Castiel Winner. Even Castiel would have laughed at the irony.)

Sam had lost his brother the moment Dean lost himself. And maybe he should've been prepared but how can you prepare yourself for your entire world just walking away? Castiel never got over his brothers leaving him. So he was left feeling empty and Gabriel in his own loneliness had sought something to hold onto hard enough not to drown. They had both needed the same things.

They stuck together longer than Sam thought they were going to. They hunted and they kept going, a silent vow between them to keep an eye out for Lucifer so they could tear him to little shreds. Both wanted revenge for very different consequences of the same action. Both wanted a chance to fix themselves.

Maybe they were delusional in thinking they could be fixed. Maybe they were delusional in thinking that had ever been anything but broken. And hell, maybe they were delusional trying to believe that Castiel's death hadn't always been God's plan because surely even God can't be that much of a monster. Not acting is one thing, but planning? That was a whole new level of canned issues even Gabriel didn't want to open.

When you get two broken things and mix them together you can never truly expect them to fix each other because the result will only be as cracked as those who made it were. You wouldn't take two acids and mix them together just hoping that the small chance of them neutralising one another will work so as you can see there were many flaws in their relationship.

Yet, they kept each other alive and that was all they thought they needed.

Dean hadn't gotten as lucky as they were. He'd cut himself off from the world and he'd just kept running, killing anything even remotely evil that he could get his hands on. He'd gotten dangerously close to torturing because when we are hurting the most we go back to what we know the best. Dean knew well that torturing cut off his emotions long enough for him to just think clearly again.

Somehow he stopped himself from doing anything but running.

(You should have heard him laugh when somebody told him what Castiel's name meant. _My cover is God._ He'd scared the life out them at his laughter, only to tell them that the irony would be lost on them.)

So as Balthazar's words slowly sank in Dean felt a small spark of hope dare to show its battered face. He almost dared to let the hope breathe because in his life he had never really been able to keep hope alive. He always lost everyone he loved because he was never able to keep them safe. It had started with his mother and it had continued even after he barely made it out of the flames with his brother tightly in his small arms. He'd never been able to keep anyone alive long enough for his head to truly work and him to not make selfish decisions.

Dean had grown used to fear long before that moment. It came as easily as breathing and denial. He'd practiced both of them for long enough for them to be reflex. He didn't know a life without them just like he could never remember really being a child. He'd always been there to clean his father's messes yet he was never there to clean his own.

He didn't need faith to know that everything that would happen next would play down on Heaven and Hell. He didn't need faith to tell him they had no idea about what was coming next and he didn't need faith to know there was no going back.

He didn't need faith to know he was going to Hell because it was the only place he could see himself. Paradise or Hell, they were both the same thing in his mind. Both were controlled by a God too cold to try to save his own children and in both of them he would feel his very essence ripped into shreds. In Hell it was far more literal because no matter what happiness Heaven offered him he would always remember that the only reason Castiel had ever left Heaven was to save him. Because he was too scared of being alone to let Sam finally rest.

His selfishness had brought everything down and even as he had held a knife in Hell he had been selfish because he was so _scared_. He was too scared of the pain to keep fighting. He was too scared of what would happen to him if he didn't take the knife.

He had been scared when he let Castiel pay for his mistakes.

He had been scared when he had heard Castiel was back.

But one thing that really, really didn't scare him even though it probably really should have? Balthazar's message didn't scare him and as he gave the angel the smallest of smiles he allowed the fear to fade away enough for him to ignore all the possibilities the message had. He simply focused on the most important and most basic fact that could be based on such a message.

'_Castiel says he will see you very soon._'

He didn't care that the Castiel he had known was probably long gone. He didn't care that one of the most dangerous creatures in all of creation was on the loose. All he cared about was the fact that he was going to get one more chance to set things right.

"Tell him I look forward to it."

Fear and denial often enjoy each other's company.

* * *

So? Good? Bad? I'm always grateful for feedback. If you feel like it you can always keep me company on Tumblr where I'm LittleBloodyJ too. Thank you for reading and best wishes to you all!

(Ps. To make up for such a wait the next chapter will be up within days. Hopefully you'll all like it.)

**Love,  
J.**


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